Two Drops Of Water


Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 17, 2002

My problem is that I am falling in love. My friend and I are both 23. He lives in the United States, seven hours away from where I live in Canada. Just yesterday I came back from seeing him again.

I always have such a wonderful time, but this time on the trip home I started missing him as if a part of myself was also missing. It was such a sad and empty feeling I wished I didn't have to come home.

We share romantic feelings, and when we are together, those feelings are expressed in displays of affection and acts of kindness. We hold hands and kiss, he pays for my meals and takes the day off work to drive me around.

The boundaries between friends and more than friends have blurred between us, and now as I get to know him more, I find I am becoming involved deeper and deeper.

We are both aware we care for each other, but I have not told him how intense my feelings have become. We have differences, distance and religion. Before he met me, the religious aspect ended a relationship because they were unable to agree how to raise a family.

With myself religion is not an issue. I would be okay raising children in another religion. I want to express what I feel, but I do not know how to talk to him without scaring him. I am afraid of the vulnerability which comes with this. I do not want to get hurt, but even more, I do not want to miss the opportunity to be with him.

Petula

Petula, I once loved a woman with whom I had a mostly business relationship, but I was moving away permanently. Still, I couldn't leave without telling her I loved her, and a little speech rehearsed itself in my mind, almost against my will.

When I went to see her for the last time, she was busy and asked me to step into another room and help myself to coffee. On a table was a letter telling of her love for me. That woman was Tamara. We met in an embrace and have been together ever since.

With the greatest risk comes the greatest reward. One of the most important lessons of life is learning not to let fear ruin our chances for happiness. If you share your feelings and they aren't reciprocated, you will be devastated. For a while. But you will also be closer to finding the person with whom you can share love for a lifetime.

Wayne

The Glue

I went abroad for a year and dated a man a few years my senior. The man I met is Irish, like myself.

I miss him terribly and keep telling him this on the phone, which seems to be really annoying him. I try my best not to, but I can't help myself. He recently sent a present for my birthday. He sent the receipt also, and without thinking I gave out about it.

What I said came out completely wrong. I apologized, but he stopped ringing me completely. I know pressuring wasn't helping, but I just love to hear from him. I've been a jealous person for as long as I remember.

He told me his former girlfriend was the prettiest girl in the county. He left her because she did the dirt on him, but that made me uneasy as well. Could you please help? I love him to bits and don't want to lose him.

Erin

Erin, the essence of jealousy is "it's mine." The essence of love is "it is meant to be." Your pursuit is pushing this man away. Stop chasing him. If he comes back, remember a person is not a possession. Love is the glue in a relationship. When it is gone, so is the relationship.

Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.







Related News




Top 15 Most Inspirational Olympic Moments - Beliefnet.com

Top 15 Most Inspirational Olympic Moments
Beliefnet.com, NY -19 hours ago
What makes for an inspiring Olympic moment? Is it the years of hard work and sacrifice that culminate in a gold medal? Is it competing because you love your ...

SHOWMAN SEVE SO INSPIRATIONAL - UK Express

The Age

SHOWMAN SEVE SO INSPIRATIONAL
UK Express, UK -16 hours ago
By Neil Squires THERE are a million Seve Ballesteros stories, but one of the most revealing is told by his 1991 European Ryder Cup team-mate David Feherty. ...
Video: Golfing Great Seve Ballesteros Has a Brain TumorAssociatedPress
Seve's a fighterSkySports
World of golf backs legend SeveBBC Sport
Swindon Advertiser
all 1,702 news articles

‘The Express’ delivers inspirational story - The Daily Beacon

‘The Express’ delivers inspirational story
The Daily Beacon, TN -16 hours ago
... his performance as the historic Schwartzwalder is impressive and his character’s leadership and strong ethics is inspirational. ...

Inspirational Donna to address women - Maitland Mercury

Inspirational Donna to address women
Maitland Mercury, Australia -17 hours ago
“Donna is such an amazing and inspirational woman and we are lucky to have her support in this event,” event organiser Shannon Hall said. ...
Standing up for battered womenMaitland Mercury
all 2 news articles

Inspirational golfer renews swing - Sunshine Coast Daily

Inspirational golfer renews swing
Sunshine Coast Daily, Australia -19 hours ago
The key to good golf, Mary Joyce said, was to just get out there and have a good time. The 85-year-old said she’d been a golfer since she was a teenager. ...

INSPIRATIONAL! Eddie McGuire Earns A Fortune Doing Absolutely Nothing - Defamer Australia

INSPIRATIONAL! Eddie McGuire Earns A Fortune Doing Absolutely Nothing
Defamer Australia, Australia -11 hours ago
Screw Anthony Robbins and his motivational talks on how to be a success. I've found myself a new hero, and it's the man I like to refer to as Uncle Ed, ...

Top 20 Inspirational Sports Movies - Beliefnet.com

Top 20 Inspirational Sports Movies
Beliefnet.com, NY -19 hours ago
In celebration of the upcoming Olympic Games in Beijing, Beliefnet contributors made their personal picks for the Top 20 Inspirational Sports Movies of All ...

Inspirational Amy loses final battle - Community News Group

Inspirational Amy loses final battle
Community News Group, UK -23 hours ago
By Chris Griffin » A LITTLE girl who waged an inspirational fight to recover from a brain tumour has lost her final battle. Eleven-years-old Amy Allen's ...

Inspirational firm really is first-class - Bradford Telegraph Argus

Inspirational firm really is first-class
Bradford Telegraph Argus, UK -16 hours ago
World-famous pram-maker Silver Cross, which has seen rapid expansion since being rescued, features in a new national initiative to help UK firms. ...

Tracy Lawrence Performing at Inspirational Country Music Awards - CMT.com

Tracy Lawrence Performing at Inspirational Country Music Awards
CMT.com, TN -16 hours ago
Tracy Lawrence and former American Idol finalist Phil Stacey will perform during the 14th annual Inspirational Country Music Awards taking place Thursday ...